Yes folks, Super Bowl Sunday is approaching us and we will make our loved ones life so much happier with each and every task we complete, ducting is always a great way to be able to spread the love. Follow me through these steps and you will be off to a wonderful Super Bowl Sunday...
Now is the time to get out that duct tape, markers, crayons from your kids toy box and last but never least, poster board. This is a very easy project and one you will be reaping the awards of, for years to come, just the look of your victims face, will have you smiling all year long. Oh such memories!
Make sure you have chosen your target/targets or I mean, the one/ones that you want to share this experience with, I promise you, they will be so ever touched that you have taken the time out to give to them. Okay, maybe not at first but, you will be laughing about it, in days to come.
Make The Signs...
All this takes is a good imagination and very little time that is, if you have everything planned out. I am here to help guide you through this process. Remember, when making your signs be gentle (Not!) these are the folks you love and yet, they are your enemy on this coming Sunday, so throw that all nice crap out the window and let us get to work
After you have made your signs, expressing just what you really think about the team your target/targets wish to win. This is war folks, go for the gut. You know they would do it if they thought of it first, so pull out all the stops and let them have it.
This 'is' Football Folks!
After your (my) target (the hubby) gets home from work, I ask him if he wants to help me in the kitchen or watch the grandson, he will go for that boy each and every time. Tristan is 2 1/2 years old and he is all boy, he plays hard, he has no fear and he exhaust this 61 year old man, so he will be off to bed early and sleeping hard in no time.
Now if you have more than one opponent that you want to share your artist expertise with, as you also pretty up their doorway, for a better looking curb appeal. You send out the first victim with the grandson and then you tell the another one, well since your team mate decided to opt out of helping me in the kitchen, they then were chosen to be my assistant in the kitchen. Make them peel your potatoes and/or anything else you are able to throw their way.
Keep their limitations in the kitchen ( I mean, really, must I explain) in mind throughout this process. Like the mere fact that I know, what takes me five minutes to do, will take them 20 to 30 minutes to do, any given day. The peeling of one potato takes as much concentration for them, as it would be if you yourself had to take the SAT's with no pencil. It's just irritating, I must leave the room every time they take up this task.
This mission is not 'even' close to being over with...
Oh I am not done with them yet,
You knowing good, darn and well that Tristan (grandson & partner of mine) will run just about the very last energy this old man has stored up. Your first victim is relieved that he can now catch his breath. ow time to exhaust victim two.
Once victim two gets a drink for him and his great-nephew Tristan, he happily trots out the door, escaping my demands only to get out of the frying pan and into the fire with his great-nephew.
If you have dogs, add them to the mix, for both victims mind you.
As soon as victim ones sits down, make a huge sigh (he is 61 after all), you have a nice cold glass of ice tea ready, you are always so thoughtful.
Proceed to grab what other vegetables you have that needs some chopping, grab a TV tray, a nice, cutting board and a big bowl and say "Honey, could you please cut these up for me, it's not much.". He will sigh, he might even give you a harsh look but ignore it and go back to the kitchen and finish your chores.
Man Rule: If the one that is cooking for you says "Jump!", just say "How high?" before they get the j sound out, remember, they will be feeding you.
Not Done Yet...
You would think one day of the Tristan and the dogs thrown straight at them would have their butts in bed by now but no, not them, there is always time for television. So let them have their dinner, make the hubby give the grandson a bath, a workout in itself. Have him tuck the little guy into bed.
As soon as your two victims are kicked back and relaxing, watching another wrestling show, ask them to help you with one more thing. If you must, grab a spray bottle, fill it with water and then spritz your face right before you leave the kitchen, having had the oven on for at least an hour, nothing in it by the way, look haggard, as if it was 'you' that had to do 'all' of the work that day. The EFF-IT balls need to be made folks.
I Don't make this stuff up folks...
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| You think I am being Facetious, well I'm not... Them last year |
Yes this was the men Last year the night before Super Bowl Sunday, no folks, I do not play and if I say it is so, it is so.
By the time the eye strain effects the hubby's brain as he uses his dollar store glasses to sew up my EFF-IT balls, he will be ready for bed. Use their weaknesses against them, this is a game folks and we want to win!
But any how, by the time they get halfway through with this task, you will hear the extra (<eyeroll>) loud yawning, you then know that they are starting to go down, all you have to do then is, place in front of them a mouth watering dessert, they will chow down and then be ready to fall fast asleep.
finish up what needs to be done in the kitchen as you wait for your victims to fall into a deep sleep. If your target is like my target was last year, then you might have to wait for the old man's middle of the night pee visit.
But once you hear that toilet being flushed and the moans and groans as the hubby enters back into his comfortable safe bed, you then take action. Once Billy is asleep, he is out, no worries!
Operation Duct'em is on
Yes you will a bit tired in the morning after staying up so you are able to share your decorating expertise with the ones you love but, it will be well worth it all in the end.
So when all are snuggled in their beds for the night, grab your duct tape and poster boards and make your way to their bedroom.
It is very helpful to have a partner to help you pull this caper off.
By the way...
Most will be willing, as they do know that the mere fact of it all is, when they are part of 'my' team, they then will not be on the opposite side, always a good thing.
Especially for Super Bowl festivities and April fools day.
It is always better to be on the strongest team, when ever possible.
All in....
Grab your roll/rolls (depending on how many of those you love, you will want to share your expertise with) of duct tape, the lovely poster boards that you painted up with all the love you have in your heart, just for them.
Then Duct tape their butts inside of their room, using the signs and 'plenty' of duct tape. Have your partner hold the sign and duct away. The more duct tape, the better.
Please make sure you have those loving words pointed towards the inside of the room, you 'do not' want them to miss out on your beautiful art work..
Remember the hint I gave you on part 1 of my Super Bowl Party series, about taking care of yourself first with that lovely Orange & Honey Compound Butter, well make sure to have it ready in the refrigerator. Set your clock, waking up early, as to make sure you will be the first one up, even before the rooster crows.
Rise & Shine
Make your way to the kitchen, make yourself your favorite beverage, make you a stack of pancakes and a few pieces of sausage.
Remember: You have been working hard this week, you 'do' deserve this, no guilt!
When you have made your plate, grab a chair and the TV tray, set your food down, relax in your chair and then just wait for those you love so much to wake up and see all your artistic love you have just showered them with.
I have found that this is the best seat in town, come Super Bowl Sunday morning and I am sure you will also.
They have Risen...
Oh how you have waited for this moment, you have not only worked hard both physically and mentally for this very moment in time.
Do not blink and yes please, have that camera ready, you hear their foot steps getting closer and here, your time and energy has paid all.
They open the door and what to their surprise....
Don't forget to Say Cheese!
Come on admit it, it is a great prank and one that has stood the test of time. Will the hubby be a bit upset, sure! Oh well, he will survive and you will have the evidence of it (if you remembered to take the photo that is) all to show the grandkids and the great grandkids, on just how Granny got one over on Granddaddy.
So as not to make your first victim get his panties into much of a wad, invite him to grab a plate of pancakes (of course you made extra) and then come and join you in the next showing of "Duct Tape Gone Mad Episode" as your second victim wakes up. Oh yes folks this is the best way to start your Super Bowl Sunday.
Back in the Game...
You want to make sure you have at least party favorite for those you love and do not fret, I have the perfect solution and one I came up with last year for our Super Bowl Party. Yes, my team was not in that game either, damn falcons!
I would also like to point out that this is also a cheap item to make, basically you will not be breaking the bank but, you guest will love this gift all throughout the game and even after.
EFF-IT Ball's
These balls are made from felt and embrod* thread, a ripped up old sheet, towels or what ever you have that is a bit tattered and you were meaning to throw it away.
You will need two squares 9x12 of felt, your choice of color for each eff-it ball you plan to make.
One package of embroidery floss for each EFF-IT ball but if you are intending to make more than just one EFF-IT ball, than that one package will be enough thread for two EFF-IT balls.
Why EFF-IT balls you ask, well we usually have children around and so we do try and keep the language at least pg rated but, every now and then your team just makes you furious, you then can throw your ball down and say EFF-IT, the kids ask and your explanation will be...
No hon, that was not a cuss word, I said 'effort', damn they really put in that 'effort'.
Little Reminders...
I picked up my avocados Thursday, they were hard so I placed them in a brown paper bag and placed them on my kitchen counter. I am sorry I did not remind you to pick your avocados up but come next year, you will be ready.
In the mean time go to your favorite Mexican restaurant you love to visit and place 2 large orders of the stuff.
Bring it home, add a bit of cracked pepper, some sea salt, a few drops from a lemon, mix it up, place in a bowl and now you are able to say yes, I made that.
Also those that also frequent the same restaurant will more than likely say "It taste like Jose's but, a bit different, love it!" and all you have to do is sit there and smile and your come back will be "I know, this will be my go to recipe from now.
When they ask for the recipe just tell them "I promised my friend I would not give away her great-grandmother's recipe away.". That should be the end of that.
Still Football Folks!
I feel that the 49ers offense will dominate the ball and that their defense will hold their own. As a falcon fan, it hurts me more to write this than it does for you Ravens fans to read it, I promise you. At least your team made it to the Super Bowl, thank you very much.
Bottom line is folks, just relax, grab all your supplies and even though we Americans's might consider it a holiday it is not, all stores will be open. You can always use the running backs on your team to make you a run or two.
Please visit my first chapter on how to throw the best Super Bowl Party, Ever!
Super Bowl XLVII: Part 1
Super Bowl XLVII: Part 3
If your victim/victims don't have much of a sweet, then at least serve them a savory breakfast, you 'will' be needing their help throughout the day...
Loaded Baked Potato Quiche: Done Mama's Way!
I will be back in a few hours with the next chapter of us throwing the best Super Bowl Party, Ever!
All photographs are the property of Denise O. Do not use unless you get 'my' written permission. All written material is owned by Denise O, it will not be 'used' (sharing my article is different and acceptable) without 'my' written permission. Just keeping it real folks.:)
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